Thursday, 12 March 2009

LordMinky has landed, 27R LHR

Well hello!

Firstly, before an introduction, the name LordMinky is something I came up with in about four seconds of thinking. Possible four. Or five. Or one, I don't know and that bit's irrelevant.
If you found this blog by clicking on a link from a Google search, I'd like to know what you were looking for exactly that came to LordMinky, off all things. If you're searching for Mayor Boris, who should undoubtedly become the Prime Minister, then please don't just search for his initials. Because I can gurantee it won't work. You'll find Bill Clinton.
When Mayor Boris said he'd be removing the fire-torn shell of two havles of a Bendy-Bus from Putney Bridge, we all though "Wooo" and voted for him. Well, the plan is to have all Bendy-Buggers off the road by 2010. 2010! Why not now? Surely, Bill Clinton could have them all off by now, mind you, his methods may well be more debatable than the rather blind burocracy Brown is administering as I write. And as you read.
When I was in London two days ago, out of all the traffic I saw, only one vehicle was a Bendy-Bus. Alot where normal Double Deckerflies, hundreds of Taxibugs and Chealsea Tractor Dogs. I even saw a couple of G-Wiz electric flies, all stuck in the traffic. You'd think it would make sense to beat the traffic, wouldn't you? But it wouldn't. Because you'd be a cyclist. And cyclists get angry when Bendy-Buggers don't see them, cut them up, and use the extra-wide cycle lanes, indicated as "Bus Lanes". And when they finally do pass the bus, they have to stop at a red light, which is red for between 59 and 59 seconds a minute. This means they have to stop, and then they get even more angry because they fall over, due to the nature of two wheels.
However, not all cyclists are angry. Some wear hi-viz and a hat, and do a good job of staying upright at the traffic lights. Then there's the other type.
These appear to be drunks, because they ride as if they're driving a motor car. They even try to change gear using a clutch, which is the point where they sedately put their foot in the front wheel and go over the handlebars into the Taxibug boot infront. I even saw an elderly lady riding with stableizers, a straw hamper which has collapsed over the rear wheel and an American-style number plate sporting the name "Calafornia". I can promise, this wasn't Mayor Boris though, because his hairstyle was definately the straw in the hamper, that is currently making mess of Hammersmith.

So, that's that. Right, the intro.. I'm LordMinky.

I like the handshake. Very understated.

Regards, LordMinky

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